Parental Guidance
by BaronOBeefDip
Summary: AU A story told from the POV of a Transylvanian who is sent to Earth along with Dr. Frank N. Furter. But, things take a weird turn. Frank starts to gain weight and is acting weirder than usual. Why? He's pregnant and not too happy about it.
1. How It All Began

**Disclaimer: Richard O'Brien owns Rocky Horror. This fanfic as well as the character of Harvey Jones was written by me for fun.**

Ah, Transsexual, Transylvania. _Home, sweet home _as the old Earthling saying goes.

But, I digress. Perhaps I'm getting too far ahead of myself, aren't I?

You see, this story of which you are reading right now takes place after the infamous Denton Affairs. A few years after, I suppose would be a more accurate statement. I wasn't there personally, but I am aware of its events and the unfortunate conclusions that came about as well.

Oh, how rude of me. I forgot to introduce myself. My apologies. My name is Dr. Harvey Jones. And, no, I'm not the same kind of "doctor" that Frank N. Furter is...or rather, was. I'm a medical doctor, he's a mad scientist. There's a difference...if only a slight one.

Where was I? Ah, yes. The story you probably wish to get back to. Well, you see, faithful reader, it all started back home on the planet Transsexual. The castle-like ship had just landed on the shores of one of its more splendid beaches. The kind you go on Saturday night and...Oh, sorry, I suppose I was rambling again. Just to forewarn all, I do have a habit of rambling from time to time. Don't worry, I'll get back to the story right away.

Anyway, the ship had landed and it wasn't long before the Queen had sent her most elite guards to investigate. Needless to say, the whole scene was not that of happy flowers and bonnets...or whatever those cute Earth creatures with the long ears are called.

Long story short, her royal highness was furious about the whole thing. I should know. I was there for the trial. I won't go into detail. Despite the circumstances, it was quite long and boring. Jury duty is murder, even for us who live on other planets.

To cut to the chase, Riff Raff and Magenta, the two servants who were sent with Dr. Furter to aid him on his mission, were sentenced to 50 years of...well, let's just say neither of them were allowed to be within 100 feet of each other or anyone for that matter. I suppose it's the Transylvanian equivalent of losing your arms or legs. No fun at all. To be fair, though, their punishment could've been more severe if it weren't for the fact that they shot Frank due to the latter's lack of sanity.

As for the one called "Rocky". Shame, really. Poor thing never got a chance to live out his life. At least he had a proper burial. As did that Columbia Earthling.

Ah, and then there was Frank. Oh, this was the best part of the whole trial. You see, ol' Frankie is the Queen's only son. And, well, upon learning that her son had lost his mind and had forced not only his creation, but two innocent Earthlings and one somewhat unbalanced Earthling to do a floor show as well as other crimes, her blood was boiling.

Ok, yes, she was grateful that Furter hadn't died of that anti-matter gun but was merely knocked into a coma. The general public was somewhat relieved of that. I'm sure I can safely say for all of us that we didn't want any more funerals in one day.

That's not to say that any of us liked him, however. Oh, sure, he had a large group of followers. But that's only because of his wealth and status. Even amongst us Transylvanians, he was a bit too eccentric and egotistical. A spoiled brat, if you will.

I must admit, at this moment, that I was afraid that the Queen would play favorites and not punish her son for his deeds. However, to my relief, she did the exact opposite. The Queen had vowed to her people that she would be fair in all judgement, and this trial was no exception.

Prince Frank's punishment, you ask? Simple. To live out the rest of his days in exile on the planet Earth. The Queen even warned him that, if he were to try and return to Transsexual, that he'd be shot and killed on sight.

To be honest, I nearly laughed when he cringed upon being called "Francis", a name he had told the paparazzi that he hated being referred to as well as him begging his "Mommy" not to send him away. Seeing the over-confident and egotistical Frank N. Furter crying like some over-grown child and throwing a fit large enough to cause two guards to forcefully drag him away was a beautiful sight indeed.

Unfortunately, I was to go with him as well. To be fair, Earth doesn't have very many Transylvanian doctors. However, that's not to say I was looking forward to the trip.

However, that part of the story will have to wait for another time.

**Author's Notes: Please read and review. Thank you.**


	2. Whine and Vomit, Anyone?

**Disclaimer: Richard O'Brien is the one who owns the RHPS as well as Frank and blah, blah, blah. Harvey and this fanfic belong to me.**

To say traveling with Prince Francis...I'm sorry, Dr. Frank N. Furter is a pain would be like saying the universe is big.

It's far too vague of a statement. No, I can only assume that traveling millions upon millions of miles through galaxies with that egotistical, vain, loud-mouth, spoiled wretch would be comparable to driving a pick axe dipped into your eyes and then pouring molten lead into the sockets. A rather graphic comparison, I'm aware, but that's about as accurate as it gets.

In all honesty, I was starting to think that the pick axe and hot lead was the lesser of two evils.

To be fair, he didn't complain as much as I thought he would. That's not really saying much, however. Since...well, when he did complain, he made sure I heard it all. _Every. Single. Damn. Word._

And, if he wasn't whining about this or that, he was in the bathroom stall....

....Throwing up.....

...._A lot._

"Oh, Goddess, I don't even remember eating that!" he was clearly heard groaning before the retching and barfing continued.

I suppose, in his defense, I should've performed my duties as a medical doctor at that time and see exactly what was making him spew his guts..so to speak. However, I simply dismissed it as being caused by stress or simply motion sickness. It's not that unusual amongst us Transylvanians to get a little queasy now and then from...Oh, sorry, I'm rambling again.

His royal pain-in-the-ass then stumbled out of the stall looking rather green and barely able to keep balance.

"Well," he frowned trying to sound more important than he really was right now, "you're a doctor! You tell me why I'm puking my guts out."

I merely smirked and replied with dry humor, "I'm just as baffled as you are, sir. Considering your reputation, I would've thought you'd lost _your_ gag reflex years ago."

**Author's Notes: I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed this fanfic. Again, thanks! The next chapter is coming soon.**


	3. Finally, Earth

**Disclaimer: RHPS and all related characters are the property of Richard O'Brien. Harvey and this fanfic belong to me.**

It felt good to be back on land again.

Even with Transsexual's advanced technology, traveling to Earth still took at least two months. That is, granted there aren't too many asteroids or solar flares or...let's just say space travel is still a bit dangerous.

Fortunately for me, his spoiled highness was now spending most of his time either resting in bed or in the bathroom. Unfortunately, of course, this meant that his nausea spells hadn't gone away.

Which meant he now expected me more than ever to figure out what was wrong with him.

"You do realize this won't be easy considering how primitive Earth medicines are, right?" I asked idly.

Frank merely rolled his eyes, "I'm aware. Just tell me why I kept puking my guts out."

"Well, it could be stress...motion sickness...." I replied, "It could've been food poisoning."

"WHAT!?" he looked at me in shock, "Are you saying someone tried to poison me?"

"Highly unlikely." I couldn't blame him for being a bit paranoid after what had happened to him, "Most likely you accidentally ate something that was undercooked and..."

"Must you mention food?" he interrupted, "I suddenly feel really hungry."

Noting that the Prince had gotten his appetite back, I quickly made it my priority to make sure he didn't overeat.

In retrospect, I should've tried harder....

**Author's Notes: Again, thanks for the reviews. Also, just to forewarn y'all, the next chapter or so will revolve around Frank gaining weight. So, if you don't like the idea of our favorite Sweet Transvestite getting chubby (NOT that kind of chubby you perverts!), I suggest you find another fanfic to read. As for the rest of you, stay tuned for the next chapter.**


	4. Hungry, Hungry Frankie

**Disclaimer: Richard O'Brien still owns RHPS. This fanfic as well as Harvey are still mine. Enjoy the madness.**

"Do we have any pizza left?"

I rolled my eyes in frustration as I went through the fridge again. It was well-stocked...key word being _was_. Either Prince Franci....erm...Dr. Frank N Furter has a metabolism higher than a shrew's, or he found pleasure in eating like a pig.

"You ate the last slice. Hell, you ate the last three boxes." I retorted.

Frank replied, "I was really hungry. Wait...why would I be hungry after puking my guts out for days?"

"It is rather unusual." I spoke idly as I found at least on meager slice of pinapple-topped pizza...not my favorite topping, but it would do, "Usually when people get such bad cases of nausea the last thing they want to do is engorge themselves on exotic cuisine."

Yes, we Transylvanians consider Earth pizza to be an exotic cuisine. It has such a primitive taste and charm to it...Kind of like when you humans cook over an open camp-fire. Yeah, that sort of taste.

Anyway, back to the story. Frank was sitting on the couch eating a bucket of ice cream. Ok...he was still hungry. Geez, where does he put it all. First he eats three boxes of pizza and now he's eating from a bucket of ice cream?!

Not that it's unusual for us Transylvanians to indulge ourselves in food. We are a civilization that thrives on pleasures of all sorts, after all. However, most of us also took great pride in our appearance. And, Prince Francis was no exception. He was, after all, quite vain.

"Oh..man this...this is so good..." he said sounding more like he was doing something other than eating ice cream.

Huh? It was then that I noticed it. Perhaps I was just seeing things but, no, that can't be it. I definitely noticed it. Maybe it's just me, but I could've sworn Frank looked a little rounder than usual. My suspicions were confirmed as I heard the distinct sound of the strings of his corset breaking to make room for his expanding girth. He must've noticed too since he looked down in surprise at the sound.

"DAMN IT!"

Serves him right for being a glutton.

**Author's Notes: Sorry for the long wait, everyone. I've been really busy with other projects. Anyway, YAY Pudgy Frank (Pokes his squishy tummy)! Thanks everyone who read and reviewed this story. Next up, Frank puts on more weight and hears the big news. HUZZAH! Stay tuned.**


	5. Time For A Test

**Disclaimer: RHPS still belongs to Richard O'Brien. Harvey and this fanfic belong to me.**

"No...no...Damn! No...Damn it!"

In case anyone was wondering, and I'm sure a few of you are, his highness was...at the moment...looking for any article of clothing that would fit him. Keep in mind that Dr. Furter had just gained more than a couple of pounds so his current wardrobe was out of the question.

"What's wrong with me?!" I heard him yell in his typical over-dramatic voice, "Nothing fits and now I'm starving again!"

I muttered to myself, "You've grown fat from being a spoiled pig. Nothing serious there..."

"I HEARD THAT!"

Prince Francis then proceeded to make his way down the stairs wearing what I could only assume were once the clothes that belonged to a reject of some earth group called the Heck's Angles...or something like that...I never really could remember who is who on this simple green planet and...

...I'm rambling again, aren't I? My apologies.

"Thank the Goddess I still had some of Eddie's old clothes with me." Frank said idly adjusting the shirt that just barely covered his gut.

I blinked, "What's an Eddie?"

The prince shrugged, "Some delivery boy I had a fling with...long story short, things didn't work out between us. He was..._delicious_...though, in more ways than one."

"Erm, I think I've heard enough." I replied idly before noticing Frank had gone to raid whatever he hadn't eaten from the fridge yet, "You're still eating? For Goddess's sake, you've already gained at least 60 pounds...maybe even more!"

"Well, if you're suddenly so concerned about my health, why don't you tell me what's wrong!?" his royal-pain was clearly losing his temper, "You're supposed to be my doctor and yet you haven't done a damn thing to help me!"

At this moment I took a deep breath and began to gather my thoughts. I knew this wouldn't be easy...even if I wasn't dealing with a spoiled self-centered brat. However, my years of experience had also prepared me quite well for what I was about to do.

"There is...one test I would like to do." I explained to him calmly, "I have my suspicions regarding you symptoms, but they didn't raise much concern to me until now. To put it bluntly, I'll need a fluid sample."

"Is that all?" Frank laughed and held out an arm towards me, "Go ahead, I promise I won't flinch."

Oh, if only I had a camera for what I told him next. The expression on his face was priceless.

"_Who_ said I was going to take the sample from your arm?"

**Author's Notes: Sorry for the long wait, guys. I've been really busy. Thanks again for the reviews. I feel so happy knowing you guys enjoy a fanfic about a fat (and pregnant) Frank N Furter. The next chapter's coming ASAP. Stay tuned!**


	6. Frank The Dadmomdy!

**Disclaimer: Richard O'Brien owns RHPS. I own Harvey and this fanfic. Thank you.**

I shouldn't of laughed, then. However, _temptation calls rather loudly_, as they say back on Transsexual and it was yelling loud and clear to laugh at Frank's misfortune.

"YOU BASTARD!" he shouted with his hands between his legs, "Why'd you have to get the sample from _there_!?"

Regaining my composure, I explained, "To put it bluntly, you'll find out once the tests are done."

I'll spare you the boring details of the test. Long story short, after several long minutes...or was it hours...I soon got the results of the test. I will admit that I was relieved and yet apprehensive that my predictions were right. Taking another deep breath and gathering my courage, I went to find Frank.

Not surprisingly, he was on the couch watching some sort of earthling soap opera and had gained more weight than before.

"Well?" he asked, "What's wrong with me?"

I spoke to him idly, "That all depends on what you mean by _wrong_ with you. Prince Fran....I mean...Dr. Frank N Furter, I hope you're relieved that you are not currently suffering from any infections, parasites, or viruses at the moment. However, you may want to stay sitting for what I am about to tell you. Sir, you're...well..you're expecting."

"Expecting what?"

"No, your highness." I felt somewhat annoyed by his moment of stupidity, "What I mean is...you're...erm...you're pregnant."

I could've sworn his eyes completely bulged out of their sockets upon hearing what was causing his less-than-pleasant symptoms.

"I'M WHAT!?!" he shouted looking like he was about to faint as well.

"You're pregnant." I explained again, "I'd say at least three months into it as well. It does explain the nausea, mood swings, and the fact that you've grown considerably fatter in such a short amount of time."

Frank pointed out, "But...I'm a guy.....I don't..."

I couldn't blame the prince for his moment of confusion. I've dealt with pregnancies before back on Transsexual, so this was standard procedure for me.

"Frank," I asked, "do you remember your high-school biology class?"

He nodded, "Barely. It's been a while and I usually forget the boring aspects of my life...even if it did involve my favorite thing..."

"Yes, yes, your reputation for loving sex is well-known." I remarked with slight impatience, "Anyway, allow me to refresh you memories. You see, for us Transylvanians, it's possible for both the males and females to get pregnant...mostly due to the extreme rarity for either sex to reproduce. Are you following me so far?"

He nodded idly in response. Normally, I would've assumed Prince Francis to stop paying attention to me and daydream about Goddess knows what. Though, I guess his current situation forced him to listen to every syllable I said.

"Good." I continued, "Now, with females, they give birth to live young. However, since you are a male, your method of raising young will be _different_."

Frank frowned, "How different are we talking?"

Pausing for a moment to form the answer in my head, I then replied, "Males lay eggs. Which is what you'll be doing sometime within the next four months. Afterwards, you'll be in a makeshift next where you'll use your body heat to keep the eggs warm...hence why you've been growing fatter. You'll also live off of that blubber for the month or so it takes for the eggs to hatch since you won't be able to leave them to eat or do much else."

"And, exactly how many eggs will I lay?" sweat was now pouring down his face.

"Oh, I don't know exactly." I shrugged in response, "Typically, the average male Transylvanian lays one to three eggs. However, it's not unheard of for a single male to lay anywhere between four and nine eggs."

He fainted at this moment, if you hadn't of guessed right now.

**Author's Notes: Well, folks, Frank's just found out he's going to be a mommy...erm...daddy...erm...dadmomdy? What will happen next for our plump transvestite? Stay tuned to find out.**


	7. Coping With The News

**Disclaimer: Richard O'Brien still owns RHPS. I own Harvey and this fanfic.**

I would say that Dr. Furter was taking the news of his pregnancy well...

"This isn't happening. This isn't happening. This isn't happening...."

...I _would_ say that. But, as you could plainly see, it wasn't the case. In all honesty, he had spent the past hour or so in the fetal position saying those three words over and over again. And, yes, before you ask, it was starting to drive me insane.

"Come now." I tried to reassure him, "It's not _that_ bad."

"Not that bad?" he asked incredulously looking at me as if my head was on fire or something, "Not. That! Bad?! My body aches, I feel like I'm going to spew my guts every other minute, I'm fat as all hell, and to top it all off...I'M FUCKING PREGNANT! I can't have kids! I can barely tolerate them!"

I frowned slightly. He did have me there. Given Frank's nature, the children, how ever many he ended up having, wouldn't exactly have the best father...erm...mother to raise them.

"Have you ever considered perhaps, I don't know, giving it a try?" yup, I was going for one of the oldest tricks in the book, playing the ego card, "Surely a man of your...erm...genius would be able to raise some fine children and, what about your parents?"

Frank frowned, "I'm royalty, remember? It was mostly nannies and butlers who raised me. Oh, sure, mummy...I mean...mother visited from time to time when she wasn't busy with her duties."

"That's exactly what I mean." I pointed out, "Unlike back on Trannsexual, you will be the one to raise your children. Since there are no butlers or nannies and..."

Perhaps I should've stopped talking right there. I could plainly see Prince Francis's anger start to boil.

"No...no...and I shall say it again....NO!" he growled indignantly, "Can't you just, I dunno, remove them from me or something?"

I pointed out idly, "You mean an abortion, right? I'm afraid not. If you were a female, certainly. However, I'm afraid that to do so on a pregnant male is still far too risky even with Transsexual's advanced medical technology, and would surely be fatal for you if we were to try and perform the surgery with Earth's primitive surgical tools."

"So, let me get this straight." Frank raised an eyebrow in response, "You're telling me that I'm stuck with these eggs?"

"Yup, pretty much." I nodded in response.

"Damn..."

**Author's Notes: Thanks for the reviews, everyone. I really appreciate them. Next up, Frank and Harvey go shopping and run into a certain slut ;).**


	8. Shopping With Frank

**Disclaimer: Ok, you should already know this by now....**

A few days later, we, and by _"we"_ I mean I dragged Frank along to go shopping for supplies for the soon-to-be-born babies. Sure, they still had a couple of months until the eggs were to be laid, but you can never be too prepared.

"I can't believe you dragged me into this." Frank grumbled as he tried to keep himself hidden from everyone else.

"You need the fresh air." I pointed out, "Besides, I thought you loved the attention."

"Yes, when I'm _not_ the size of a house and _NOT_ when I'm carrying eggs in my gut!" Frank sneered at me.

Yup, the mood swings were definitely kicking in...though it wasn't easy to tell considering this is Dr. Frank N Furter we're talking about. The only way you could really notice was that his temper was shorter than usual, which, ironically, is really saying something.

"Look, what are you so worried about?" I asked while looking at some cereal since we also needed some more food...I'm sure you can guess why, "It's not like you know anyone on this planet..."

"Frank? Is....You're alive?"

Ok, I was wrong.

"It is you." a woman wearing what I could only assume to be appropriate attire for some sort of formal occasion...oh, what was it again...some sort of human building for some earthling religion..Ah, yes, church, that was it, walked up to us, "W-Why are you still on earth? How are you..."

Frank frowned clearly in no mood to talk, "I was banished here...by my mother..."

"Who are you?" I asked.

"Oh, I'm sorry." the woman spoke, "I'm Janet Majors."

His highness smirked, "I see you married that dud..."

"Brad is not a dud!" the earthling known as Janet replied sounding rather insulted, "He's a more devoted man than you'll ever be."

"But, did he please you like _I_ did?" Frank asked with a smirk.

"That's enough, the both of you." I frowned noticing Janet's temper rising, "Mrs. Majors, it is a pleasure to meet you. I am Harvey Jones, and I am Prince Francis's medical doctor during his banishment on earth."

"Prince...you mean?"

"Yes, I am....was....royalty." the spoiled prince replied boredly, "Do you have anything better to do than to make idle chit chat with me?"

Of course, Janet wasn't finished with her...as Frank put it...idle chit chat at all. I began to wonder if all earthlings were this talkative or this nosy.

"You've...erm...." I could tell Janet was trying to find a way to say it to Frank without offending him too much, "You've put on weight since I last saw you. Have...are you eating well?"

Frank muttered something under his breath.

"I'm sorry...I didn't hear that."

"isadi'mpregnant." Frank muttered yet again.

Janet sighed, "Frank, I have no idea what-"

He shouted, "I'M PREGNANT!"

And, right on cue, the Janet earthling had fainted.

**Author's Notes: The next chapter is coming soon. LOL. Poor Pregnant!Frank. What will happen to our bloated dadmomdy transvestite next? You'll have to stay tuned to find out.**


	9. A Glimpse Of Frank's Children

**DISCLAIMER: Richard O'Brien still owns Rocky Horror and all related characters. I still own Harvey and this fanfic.**

One month later....in case anyone was wondering...

"Remind me why I'm lying on a cold table with wires stuck to my gut?"

I rolled my eyes in response. ok, the explanation....again...

"For the last time," I told the prince as he lay on the medical table, "I need to see how well the eggs are developing inside of you."

Frank frowned, "Can't you just wait until after I lay them? This table is unbearably cold and I feel so humiliated with my stomach exposed like this."

Though I hate to admit it, Frank did make a good argument. Technically, I could've waited until after he laid the eggs for me to check their health. However, I am a doctor and I felt that the sooner I examined them...the better.

"I could." I pointed out, "But, this needs to be done. your highness, may I ask? Do you know what would happen if something were to go wrong when you start laying the eggs?"

He gulped nervously, "Like what?"

Thinking for a moment, I answered, "Well, for one thing, what if your body goes though...complications during the process? What if you end up bleeding internally? What if the eggs are deformed?"

"Uh...I...uh.....I..." he stuttered.

"It could cause severe damage...possibly even fatal to both you and your children if something were to go wrong." I explained, "That is why I need to make sure the eggs are developing properly inside of you so that doesn't happen. got it?"

Frank merely nodded nervously in response. He then looked over at the sonogram image that I too was currently looking at. These primitive earth machines, while not the best equipment for ensuring the health of a pregnant Transylvanian and/or its offspring, certainly did have their uses. At the moment, I was just barely able to make out four fuzzy egg-like shapes on the monitor.

His highness was barely able to choke out the words.

"Those....are mine...My.....my babies..."

**Author's Notes: Aww, we get our first look at Frank's babies. Also, thanks for the reveiws, everyone. Stay tuned for the next chapter.**


	10. Motherly Frank?

**DISCLAIMER: Yeah...you know this by now....**

The next day and Frank seemed to be in a better mood. I wasn't sure if it were due to his motherly instincts kicking in or if he had come to terms with his pregnancy. Either way, it was better than him yelling at me and/or whining every ten minutes.

"Y-You think the house is safe for them? Right?"

Of course, the downside was that he had become quite nervous over the past few hours. I couldn't blame him. After all, they were his children and his instinctive nature to protect them at any cost was going into overdrive.

"Stay calm." I gently placed a hand on one of his flabby shoulders and led him towards a large couch to sit in, "Remember what I told you. All that stress is not good for you or your children. Ok? Just try to relax. Everything will be ok."

Prince Francis looked over at me and nodded nervously.

"J-Just promise me they....I mean...I'll be ok." He spoke trying to retain some of his well-known selfish nature with little...if any...success.

I reassured him, "I promise. You and your babies will be just fine."

Frank sighed in relief and made himself comfortable on the couch. Said couch, of course, was now creaking in protest under Frank's weight. I can't say that I was at any bit surprised. His highness, ever since he started to put on the pounds during the early days of his pregnancy, now weighed well over 400 pounds...maybe even more.

To be honest, I had given up trying to check his weight, when, the last time I tried to check his weight, he threw a fit and broke the scale by jumping on it...several times.

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the doorbell ringing. I silently prayed to whatever deity was listening at the moment that it wasn't the pizza delivery guy and that I didn't have to pay..._again_...five-hundred earth dollars for several boxes of pizza for his royal pain to scarf down like mad.

To my relief, it was that Janet earthling and whom I could only assume to be her mate. He was, as the old Earth slang went, a dork. Lanky, brown hair, glasses. The male earthling looked like those pictures of...what were they called again? Oh, yes, he looked like a nerd.

"Hi." He held out his hand for the earthling custom of a handshake, "I'm Brad Majors. and this is my wife, Janet."

**Author's Notes: HOORAY! The Asshole and the Slut have come to visit our favorite pregnant transvestite alien! What will happen next? Stay tuned to find out.**


	11. Unexpected Guests

**Disclaimer: Blah, blah, blah, Richard O'Brien. Blah, blah, blah....**

I blinked a couple of times before returning the handshake.

"Yes, erm," I spoke unsure of what to do with such unexpected company, "please, come in."

The two earthlings smiled gratefully and entered our humble abode. His highness looked over at them with an idle nod of greeting before turning his attention to some earth magazine. Play...something. I dunno, I never bothered to keep track of the names of printed earthling entertainment.

The Brad-earthling frowned at his highnesses current state.

"M-My," he stuttered unsure of what exactly to say, "You've certainly gotten...erm...um...uh...."

Frank rolled his eyes in response, "Fat? Yes, _that's_ what happens when you're pregnant, Brad."

"So," Janet, thankfully, interrupted that awkward conversation before it got ugly, "Is it a boy or a girl?"

Ah, earthlings, they can be so cute in their naivety.

"We don't know yet." I explained, "You see, first they'll need to hatch."

Brad blinked, "Your kind lay eggs."

"Just the boys." Frank shrugged while still looking through the magazine, "Then I got to use this disgustingly bloated body to keep them warm. Lucky me..."

He spat out that last part with venomous sarcasm, in case any of you were wondering. I, and perhaps the others as well noticed Janet biting her lip as if pondering something important. Either that, or humans just like to bite their own lips for some strange reason.

"Who's...." she sighed heavily nervously anticipating the answer, "Who's...the...erm...father?"

His highness explained, "I'm afraid that's impossible to tell. The father could be anyone. You, Brad, Rocky, Columbia, Eddie, a member of the royal...ugh.....g-guard....eh...."

Prince Francis suddenly clutched his stomach and groaned in pain. I knew what was coming, though, I must admit I was amused by the shocked expression on the earthlings' faces.

"I....ugh....I think it's time..." Frank moaned.

**Author's Notes: Sorry it took so long to update, everyone. I've been so busy lately. Anyway, next up, Frank has his babies! Huzzah!**


	12. The Eggs Arrive

**Disclaimer: Do you honestly actually read the disclaimers? Yeah, didn't think so...**

Well, several long hours later, his highness had finally laid his eggs. I won't bother explaining the details, as the whole thing was rather uneventful...just quite messy. Prince Francis, after he had been cleaned up from the whole ordeal, was currently sound asleep on several mattresses lying side by side with several pillows scattered about.

And, under his massive body, four eggs. Each one roughly nine inches in length and five inches in diameter. A light-gray in color with speckles of tan here and there. Fine specimens, if I do say so myself.

Brad and Janet soon entered the room. I could only assume that either they wanted to give Frank his privacy while he, erm, bared his young...or, they were simply too squeamish for that sort of thing.

"Frank?" Janet spoke while taking a few steps closer to the obese transvestite, "Are you ok?"

I quickly grabbed onto her and pulled her back before she got any closer.

"That's not such a good idea." sighing heavily before explaining, "Frank's maternal instincts have kicked in. He'll be fiercely protective of his young and might attack if he's startled."

Not surprisingly, the Janet earthling looked both shocked that Frank could've killed her had she come any closer yet relieved that she got lucky and wasn't injured.

"Well, is...will he be ok?" she asked regaining her composure.

I nodded, "He'll be fine. I'll check on him now and then to make sure of it."

"You know, he almost looks peaceful like this." Brad mused.

In all honestly, it took all my willpower to keep myself from comparing him to a beached whale.

**Author's Notes: Aww, Frank's laid his eggs and are keeping them warm under his squishy body. Next part coming soon...hopefully. Ok, who wants to poke Squishy Frank with me!? (Gleefully pokes Frank's flabby belly)**


	13. The Hazzards Of Collecting Eggs

**Disclaimer: You know this already.**

A few weeks had passed since his highness had laid his eggs. Fortunately for me, he didn't do much except sleep and occasionally check to see that his offspring were still there.

Unfortunately, I still had to make sure the embryos inside the eggs were developing properly. Easier said than done, since, as I've stated before, Prince Francis's maternal instincts had gone into overdrive.

I was fortunate enough to have found a couple of people that were willing to volunteer to help me out.

"You want _us_ to do _what_ now?"

Perhaps I _should've_ asked someone else?

"It's quite simple," I explained to the earthling couple I had met only months ago, "all you have to do is carefully get the eggs from his highness. Don't worry, I added sedatives to his drink earlier...don't ask how I got him to drink anything in the first place....anyway, he should be out like a light long enough for you to get the eggs from him."

Indeed, Frank was out like a light. The small trickle of drool down his chin and the light snoring confirmed it. Disgusting, but a more welcome site than him snarling whenever I barely came within ten feet of him.

Janet was the first to approach the sound-asleep Frank. I must commend her bravery in such a dire situation. She let out a rather audible gulp before reaching her arm under Frank's enlarged stomach.

"Ugh..." the female earthling winced, "It feels like a mass of sweaty meat under here."

Her eyes widened as she heard Frank let out a low grunt and begin to move about slightly. This was definitely not good. If he woke up...if he saw her trying to take his eggs, I had no doubt in my mind that Frank would crush that poor Janet earthling under his immense weight without so much as a second thought.

My suspicions were confirmed. He was waking up.

**Author's Notes: Thanks for all the reveiws, everyone. Sorry for the long wait, by the way. My computer was down. Anyway, the next chapter is coming soon. YAAAAAAAY!**


	14. It's a girl?

**Disclaimer: (Insert mandatory disclaimer here)**

Janet whimpered as Frank turned his head towards her and let out a low growl baring his teeth at her. In all honesty, he looked more like some rabid animal rather than the eloquent yet insane transvestite people were more familiar with...especially back on Transsexual.

"Don't make any sudden moves." I spoke calmly to her while trying to keep my own nerves in line, "Let go of whatever you've grabbed onto, and back away nice and slow."

The female earthling continued to tremble and I heard sniffling indicating that perhaps she was more afraid than I thought. I can't say I don't blame her. Sure, she was quite brave to risk her life like that...and I do applaud her for being so...but, facts are facts. His highness was, for a lack of a better term, _huge_. He was _gargantuan, large, massive, enormous, gigantic..._

...Oh, sorry, I was rambling again. I suppose what I'm trying to get at is that bothering a motherly Dr. Furter is guaranteed to get 800 or so pounds of enraged transvestite parent beating the living daylights out of you. _Not_ a pretty sight.

To our luck, Frank quickly grew drowsy again and fell back asleep. I wasn't sure if the sedatives were the cause or if he was simply too tired to bother chasing after Janet.

"Are you all right, dear?" the Brad earthling asked in concern.

Janet nodded, "I-I will be. I just don't think I will be able to do that again. But, I _did_ manage to get this."

She held up one of the eggs of which I quickly yet gently took from her.

"Thank you." I spoke using the common earthling saying for expressing gratitude, "I'll, hopefully, have him...or her...checked out and back under Prince Francis's stomach before he even realizes his son...or daughter...is missing."

With that, I took the egg to where I could examine it and make sure the embryo inside was developing properly. I won't bother with the boring details. However, I will say that, as far as I could tell with using primative earthling technology, the embryo was developing quite nicely.

Now all that remained was getting the egg back to Frank before he....

"WHERE IS SHE!?"

....Woke up and found out it was missing.

"Where is who?" Janet asked trying to keep his highness calm.

"Lucille!" he lifted up his massive body in a panic and frantic search to find his missing egg, "I can't find her anywhere!"

The male earthling looked quite puzzled, "Wait, you named the egg Lucille? How do you even _know_ it's a girl?"

Frank frowned and replied condescendingly, "I'm the egg's _mother_. I _just know_ these things."

"Calm down, Francis." I sighed while Frank cringed at his full first name being used, "Your egg is with me. It's just fine."

His highness quickly grabbed the egg from me and gently tucked it under fold of fat.

"She." he felt the urge to correct me, "_Her_ name is Lucille."

"Fine." I sighed in defeat, "Lucille is fine. Its...erm...she's developing quite nicely."

**Author's Notes: Aww, isn't that cute. Frank's named one of his babies already. Anyway, stay tuned for the next part.**


	15. Frank's Natural State

**Disclaimer-BLAH!**

"99 bottles of beer on the wall...99 bottles of beer...take one down...something something....98 bottles of beer on the wall..."

"Exactly _what_ are you singing?" I asked his highness curiously noting the odd tune he had been crooning to no one in particular for the past few hours.

"Huh?" Frank looked over at me, "I dunno. Some earthling song. I heard it a long time ago and it's been stuck in my head ever since."

I merely nodded idly figuring it was probably just some nonsense song earthlings liked to sing and went back to work fixing dinner..._mostly_ for myself since Prince Francis was still incubating his eggs. They were about due for hatching. I could tell this mostly because he had lost a good portion of his extra weight...though he was still noticeably chubby..and that he had to revert to his "natural state" in order to effectively incubate them.

Oh, my apologies. I suppose I should explain. You see, the humanoid form we Transylvanians take, and you all are most familiar with, is _not_ our true form. Our "natural state", as we call it, is _far_ different.

I suppose we can be best described as "four-eyed mutant chickens"...to put it in the most _blunt_ sense possible. However, allow me to explain in better detail. We Transylvanians basically look similar to a prehistoric creature called a Therizinosaurus....a rather odd-looking...I believe you earthlings called them "dinosaurs". However, while we do have similar saurian appearances, there are some key differences.

For one thing, we Transylvanians are bulkier than a Therizinosaurus. Transsexual does, after all, have a colder climate than earth (due to our further distance from our sun-like star) and therefore we rely on our body fat to keep warm. Second, we have four eyes...to help us see in the dimly-lit ecosystems, of course. We also have four arms (and only two legs)...but I'll leave it to the imagination as to why we need an extra pair of forelimbs. And, finally, the males have four tusks. Two front tusks emerging from the lower jaw and another pair of tusks behind the first pair emerging from the upper jaw.

I apologize for that long explanation, but I felt it was the best way to explain Frank's current form. In all honesty, it was the first time I've ever seen it in person. From what I've heard, Prince Francis prefers to remain in his human form and rarely transforms into his "natural state" finding the plump and clumsy form to be hideous compared to the lithe and graceful "humanoid form".

"What _exactly_ are you doing in there?" his highness asked in mock interest as he lifted his plump bird-like body to make sure his offspring were all still accounted for.

"I believe I told you that I'm cooking myself some dinner." I explained to him yet again, "Why, am I bothering you?"

"No...." he remarked idly, "It just smells funny in there. I could be wrong, but I don't think skunks are normal earth cuisine..."

I would've scolded him for his rude behavior, but, in this case, he was right. There was a funny smell....and it was due to my dinner burning in the oven. Well, I never was a good cook in the first place. Hence why we often ended up ordering pizza or take-out instead.

Frank sighed in annoyance as I set my burnt...whatever it was now on the table to eat, "Next time, try not to burn the house down. I don't want my children to be fried."

"I'll see what I can do." I remarked dryly before settling down to eat burnt, uh, something for dinner.

_*Braaaaap! Braaaaap!*_

Well, so much for a quiet dinner. I quickly turned on the TV which (with Frank's help...surprisingly, considering how lazy he can be) had been converted into an intergalactic communicator. The picture was still a bit blurry, but Prince Francis and I could still make out the figure on the screen. And, well, it _would_ be lying if I were to say that both of us were not in shock at the moment.

"Frankie? Dear? Is that you?"

His highness could only stutter, "M-Mommy?"

**Author's Notes: Sorry for the lack of reviews for a long time, everyone. Been very busy with all sorts of stuff. Anyway, stay tuned for the next chapter. YAY!**


	16. A Call From The Queen

**Disclaimer-Richard O'Brien still owns Rocky Horror and all related characters. All I own is this fanfic, Harvey, and "Lucille".**

It took me a moment to comprehend what was going on as well. The Queen herself had contacted us. For what reason I don't know, and I honestly dreaded to find out.

"Mommy...erm...I mean, _Mother_, why are you calling us?" Frank asked trying to regain his composure, "I, I haven't caused _any_ trouble on Earth, honest."

"I know, dear." the Queen Furter replied in a stern yet understanding tone, "I simply called since I had to make sure my only son was doing well during his exile."

"Well, can't I just come back ho-"

The Queen remarked quickly, "NO! Frank, I may be your mother, but I _am_ also queen of Transsexual and therefore I have a duty to my people to rule it fairly. You committed _horrible atrocities_ against another planet and therefore you had to be punished. Just consider yourself_ lucky_ that it didn't start an intergalactic war. Otherwise, you would've been executed. Do _I_ make myself clear!?"

Frank lowered his feathered head in shame, "Y-Yes, Mommy."

"Now, don't feel bad, my lil' Frankie." the Queen Furter spoke in a more gentle tone, "I know you can't leave Earth, but that doesn't mean I can't come to visit now and then. You can show me around and, erm, hmm? Why are you lying on a bunch of mattresses, dearie?"

I took that moment to explain, "Well, you see, your highness, Prince Francis wasn't feeling well during our trip. I simply assumed that it was due to stress or perhaps motion sickness. However, that theory was quickly disproven when he started to rapidly gain weight and, I suppose it would be best to let him explain the rest to you."

It was then that I looked over at his highness and gave him a silent cue to show the Queen what I had been talking about. He took a deep breath before lifting up his body to reveal all four of his eggs including "Lucille" who now had a small pink bow on it for one of Frank's odd whims.

"Oh, Frankie, I'm a grandmother!" the Queen said in a voice that echoed both happiness and sadness for the situation, "They're just so darling. I'm sure you'll make a _wonderful_ mother. How long until they're due for hatching?"

Frank blushed slightly and replied, "Harvey said they should be due any day now."

The Queen Furter remarked, "Then, I have no time to waste! Oh, I must see my grandchildren right away! I'll be on Earth as soon as possible. This is certainly an event I must be in person for. Ta, for now, dearies."

And, with that, the call had ended. I wasn't quite sure what to think of her royal highness coming to visit us. But, then again, who was I to decide whether or not she should be allowed to visit her son and her new grandchildren too?

As for Frank, well...

"Mommy's coming! Mommy's coming!" his tail twitched about as he happily chanted in a sing-song voice.

**Author's Notes: Aww, Frank's happy his mommy's coming over to visit him. Isn't that sweet? Also, stay tuned for the next chapter. The eggs are finally going to hatch! HUZZAH!**


	17. They Finally Hatch

**Disclaimer: Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah...ZOMBIES!**

I suppose it was, hmm, at least sometime later that night. By then, I was so exhausted that I had barely gotten into my bed before I had completely fallen into a deep sleep. Prince Francis, I assume, despite his excitement upon knowing his mother's upcoming arrival, had also fallen asleep.

"HARRY! HENRY! HA...WHATEVER THE HELL YOUR NAME IS! GET DOWN HERE! QUICK!"

My sleep, of course, was short-lived. After taking a quick glance at the alarm-clock...the numbers 3:34 A.M on display in bright red colors, I headed out of bed, out of my room, and downstairs to where his highness was still nesting.

However, to my surprise, Frank was no longer on his nest, but rather standing next to it and glancing at it with a bewildered look on his face. I myself got as close as I could to the nest without the prince's motherly instincts kicking in...for my own safety, of course...and noticed that a couple of the eggs were rocking back and forth.

Just then, a small cracking sound was heard as the tip of a tiny beak emerged from the egg dubbed "Lucille".

"Th-They're hatching..." Frank whispered wiping a few tears of joy from two of his four green reptilian eyes.

He then used his own beaked muzzle to gently crack open the egg. It wasn't long before a Transylvanian hatchling was stumbling about in the nest covered in soft downy gray feathers. I must admit that the tiny infant was quite cute...though I suppose human babies themselves are cute in their own way, as are kittens and...

Sorry, rambling again. Anywho, I gently picked up the newborn and carefully examined it to make sure it was healthy before handing it back to Prince Francis. Instinctively, the hatchling hid under the warmth and safety of Frank's plump feathered body.

"Congratulations." I told the prince, "It's a girl."

Frank nuzzled his offspring, "Lu-Lu."

"Lu-Lu?" I asked in confusion, "I though her name was Lucille."

"It is." his highness pointed out, "I just like to call her Lu-Lu too."

Before long, the other eggs hatched as well. Along with Lucille, Frank's offspring included two males and another female. All four of his offspring were in good health and all of them were currently nestled close to their mother for warmth and protection.

"What are you going to name the other three?"

"Huh?"

I sighed, "Your other children. What are their names?"

At that moment, the expression on Francis's face was that of confusion with a slight hint of despair. It was as if I had asked him to tell me the very secrets of the universe itself.

"I...I don't know..." he looked at his other offspring seemingly lost in thought for quite some time, "Hmm...I'll call you Bob, and you will be Rufus, and my other daughter? Uh....hmm....Madeline. Yeah..that works."

"Ok..." I wrote down the names of Frank's offspring on a sheet of paper, "Well, I suppose you won't need me for the rest of the night. Do try to get some sleep, your highness."

He yawned sleepily in response, "I suppose you're right. Good night, uh..um.."

"Harvey."

"Right, Harvey. Goodnight." Frank yawned again, "Oh...one more thing..."

I paused from only making it up three steps before looking over at the prince.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Thank you. For, helping me through this." his highness replied before laying down in his nest and falling asleep with his children curled up next to him sleeping as well.

"You're welcome." I whispered as I resumed my way back into my own room and bed, "Goodnight, Dr. Furter."

**Author's Notes: Thanks for the reviews, everyone. I apologize that it takes me so long to create new chapters...been rather hectic here. Anywho, Frank's babies have just hatched. What adventures await our pudgy sweet-transvestite and his babies? What will happen when the Queen arrives? Who drank my soda? All this and more will be revealed in the upcoming chapters. Stay tuned!**


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